Rebelling… and growing up?

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Evening dear readers or whoever dares to wander off on this blog. Very few here know me in my readership and this « drawback » arises as an advantage, thus allowing me to rant, vent whatever hurts, racks, fills me with joy or makes me run amok.

In today’s society, Xmas is the end of the year celebration no-one can escape. Even if I sort of rejoice at the coming of this day, I am not profoundly happy and merry. At the outset of human society it was a pagan/polytheistic set of beliefs later stolen by new born Christians. I don’t necessarily loathe them, I loathe humanity for covering raw and true beliefs with a muddy and cheesy gloss with the help of conquerors of a faith long smeared by (male) leaders smothering any liberty we may expore within ourselves. Humankind can be very twisted, wicked even.

I can’t pray. I sometimes send ephemereal thoughts to the Deities I would like to pray to but I feel I am cheating on them, disrespecting them because I am overwhelmed with my work load and I do hate that. Therefore, Yule is not the celebration I am going to try this year. I am so drowned with my earthling’s life that I neglect my spiritual one. And I do hate that.

I am on a sick leave as some viruses and the cold decided to take me over. It was not fun at all and fought beyond my limits. I am so glad to be at home 🙂 On the one hand, I had some time to get rid of the red tape stuff I put away to forget about it but it always catches up with you. On the other hand, I had some time to sleep, do the cleaning (well, I am no cleaning lady) and most of the experience, notice that I do need time for myself and I am not satisfied with my life because of my job. It’s not that I hate my job but I’m hating it because it is crushing me. Seems it will be like this for at least 2 years. So yeah I am wondering about an alternative, if I am on the right way, if I am abiding by my profound desires, will. Sometimes it seems I am answering my own financial and social needs but the higher ones. But what can you do in this sickening world without money? My boyfriend and I do not earn big money and this frustrates us much.

Yes, I am rebelling, I have to give some huge money back and everything costs more and wages are not raised. This cannot go on like this. Why are we all bowing to this Money God? Moreover running out of time and running after time is starting to make me mad and feel older and grumpy. Jeez, I need to wake up and see the brighter side of life but I am not managing. Help!

Ok, let’s get back to work. Nothing or nobody is extending an invitation, no wonder this society is turning « me, myself and I »


À propos de Sighild

Une Celte passionnée, analysant parfois trop mais pour approcher toujours plus la sagesse, curieuse et toujours avec des idées parfois farfelues. Végéta*ienne, mélomane, poétesse et renouant (autant que possible) avec la Nature et ses cycles. Ce blog est mon repaire, parfois un peu fantasque, échevelé, alambiqué et souvent très spontané. A vegetarian/vegan Celtic lady, roaming on the Earth and a stargazer, passionate, sensitive, sometimes a warrior. This blog is my lair where I play with concepts, words, thoughts and dreams.

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