Sorry for posting a very lousy text but tonight seems I need to vent but words are not coming easily. I did express myself quite strongly on some social network about feminism, rape, women regarded inferior for ages and treated like porn items or meat by men. Has romanticism gone dead and buried for many of us? Is sex between real humans driven by the porn industry (YouPorn) and the sense of fragility, poetry, sensuality (not the vulgar one, the one with feelings and genuity) far behind like a token from the Middle Ages?
I am feeling lost. I have always been (over)sensitive, especially when it comes to relationships, any kind of them actually. Some few words, some tones in the voice can really turn me off, as if I could turn into frost. Because I feel hurt, lost, attacked, disrespected.
I have always wondered (naïvely) : why men are always that easy with sex, but shy away when a conversation is needed. I mean, to talk about feelings and so on? I know, for my part, that talking about my own feelings is a tough time (but necessary) but the will is strong though the tongue is like stone, my soul is full of many feelings, desires, needs and frustrations.
Tonight, it’s hard me for to cry because I am sad, I feel alone even though I have a family, friends, a boyfriend. But everything seems so fragile and sometimes I don’t know if I can be strong for myself. The past has proven me I can be strong for others, but what about myself? Once again, this ordeal has put its imprint on my being like fire, I feel burnt.
Sometimes I just wish this Angel could take me skywards and embrace with Universal Love, comfort, and peace of mind.