Winter is Coming, with my Summer Vibes

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Hi dear readers, I have been away from the cyber world for quite a long time again and over again.

As the end of the academic year is drawing near (but still about 5 full weeks to go), I am starting to feel tired (as the pupils are excited to go from school to go on holidays), even a bit shattered by the whole year which has not been past my life yet. I still have to wait for a real break in order to ponder, meditate, recover from this hectic and never-ending questioning professional year. Professional but the personal life got eaten away by the coming into a new profession for which I had not studied. And I was always feeling weaponless, defenseless even. That caused a nervous breakdown, I left my flat for some time and my life seemed to be falling apart. I felt like an awful amount of crap, and in this time of ordeal, I began to desperately hang on to my new faith (which is put on hold right now, trying to still recover I guess), praying, walking around to feel Divinity whenever I was walking. But I felt extremely bad, emptied and hopeless, helpless.

Well, I would like to enhance the good side of my life. Yes, I am back after a while, a awful time for me. For months, it seems I had been attracted to some man, whereas during the Xmas hols I started a relationship with another one. At that time, it seemed my « feminine power » (dunno how to call it properly in English) was rising. And I felt awesome. Though the stress with my job also got the worst into my life. Now I remember how sad and bad I was feeling, he was not that on my mind because I was feeling so crappy. In a way, when I look back, life was being so harsh but now life is getting things into a better way. Of course not everything is perfect or fit but as a woman I am feeling better. This awesome and quiet impression that, at last, I am becoming treated like a woman, with some projects or wishes ahead, with the man I’ve been gazing at for months. I never thought it would come true though I dreamed it would. Perhaps I felt it is the right one?

 

As for spiritual matters, I put on hold many things, partly due to professional reasons (too much stress to deal with, lack of self-confidence as I am beginning on this professional path, and so on). If I have been into Tarology and Divination, I stopped because I feel I have to let go of fear of the future and let things come as they are, without any previous knowledge that would prevent me from enjoying anything coming toward me. I also noticed that I consult any deck whenever I am feeling down or going through tough times, in order to find a relief through cards and their multiple possible meanings;

Now it’s time I went to bed to listen to music and go on with some reading (yes, I managed to find a good reading written in English, seems I cannot follow in my native language, how strange, hu?)

 

Sighild

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À propos de Sighild

Une Celte passionnée, analysant parfois trop, curieuse et toujours avec des idées parfois farfelues. Végétarienne, mélomane, poétesse et renouant avec la Nature et ses cycles. Ce blog est mon repaire, parfois un peu fantasque, échevelé, alambiqué et souvent très spontané. A vegetarian Celtic lady, roaming on the Earth and a stargazer, passionate, sensitive, sometimes a warrior. This blog is my lair where I play with concepts, words, thoughts and dreams.

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