In Times of Crisis…

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Morning dear readers,

I haven’t posted anything yet and for various reasons. I won’t tell you the reasons because they are private but I can tell you I’m not going well. I have never felt so exhausted in my entire life (well, there may have been parts of my life where exhaustion had been acute in my being) and it seems it will take more than just a week to recover and retrieve my powers. No, I’m not a super heroine, I am just a human being who haven’t slept well for months, been stressed permanently, etc. And so many questions about various aspects of my life. That’s very much to handle at the same time, don’t you think? It seems I have to say « c’est la vie ».

Life seems to be a daily challenge, especially for some people out there like me. Sometimes, I take up the challenge, sometimes I recoil with fear. With fear of not being able to be perfect. Why have I always had this ideal of perfection, of being perfect, more particularly in the eyes of the others, of my peers? A lack of self-confidence? How do you learn to be self-confident? Do I need to prove myself I am able according to what I would have achieved? What have I achieved so far? Why can’t I see what I have positively done? Why can’t I seem to learn: fall, learn your lesson, tell myself it’s gonna be alright and bounce back stronger and with a greater sight to the horizon?

I have always felt guily and exhausted to do more. Seems now I have to stop, relax, think about what I did to recover and change what has to be changed.

Before writing the end of this post, I would like to thank some friends who have recently sent me e-mails or chatted/talked with me, texted me. I am grateful for having them as friends and I am happy they have been present. Now, for myself and for them, I wish I would bounce back well, more determined, more self-confident and stronger than ever. Friendship is the most precious gift life has provided us with. Friends sometimes know more about me than I do. Now I would like to thank them again for being there (and I often miss them).


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