Overloading, Cluttering and Guilt

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Hi dear readers, I hope that the year 2014 is flowing well for you all, in all aspects of life.

I am posting this evening, shortly. I am not able to let it go long and clearly. Perhaps I do not want to unveil everything I am going through since the week started. I have received two (or three) letters which put me to the test, questioning me, what I lived dearly in the past. But there are some shadows in some parts. I won’t say any more. I don’t wish to go any further. I don’t time to give a proper and frank answer, I don’t time for myself, my friends, my family, my projects, I don’t even have time not to botch my job tasks. I wish I could have (had). I would like  to stop complaining because some people tend to imprison me in such a horrible label and I am much more intricate than that infamous label.

Overloaded with my position, clutters get bigger with each day, guilt is always part of my life. I have always wanted to do more, to always get better, outsmart myself, astonish myself and the others. Is that so wrong? I am not an egotist though I may appear to be one. But aren’t we all egotist in some way? I have always struggled (from scratch) to get where I am today. Life has not always be nice to me, maybe I had deserved it, maybe sometimes the lessons had been very tough to learn. Each of us has their burden, we have to cope with it and friendship is the best ammunition the Cosmos has dared to give us all. Unless you let friendship off of your life.

Friendship is the key to anything: love, suffering, help, joy, struggle. Anything. And friendship can be experienced through silence. Which I may have feared so much.

This week is tough, I am always runnign, my back is sending me signs that I should slow down. How can I?  There is so much to be done and nobody else but me will have to handle it.

I am being put to the test almost all the time. Can’t people understand that? I cannot be as available as I am expected by some or even by myself. I want to be perfect but I should stop looking skywards like I have always done. Life has been teaching me how to be patient; it seems that some people I appreciate need to learn how to be patient as well. Once again, I cannot say more because it would be boring and awkward. Rest is the best to come, the craved so wished for every day.

Before going to an end with this post, I would like to thank the people who have recently given me support, kind words to keep struggling, to look upwards with a smile on my face. I deeply thank the people I have met who have believed in me so far, who have accepted as messy, passionate, romantic as I am.

May the Cosmos embrace us all.

Sighild

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