Hi there my dear readers.
If you follow my blog’s activity, you may have seen that yesterday I posted a new article (in French). First, I would like to apologise for an umpteen time for not having posted anything for a wee long time. I know that ever since I opened this blog I have apologised so many times. And each time it was for being busy with several aspects of life (jobhunting at no avail, then moving on to be spinning around empowering my social life, which had never been very exciting whatsoever, then starting to work part-time away from home). This time, I am really busy. Extremely busy even. Nonetheless, I feel the great need to get organised the best I can if I want to have the life I have been wanting to. It will take time, sometimes I will have hardships to go through (well, I am going through some ones).
As I wrote it yesterday, this year 2013 has been a special one: full of changes. First, I exhausted myself to find a job, in my field of study. I was searching all over France, but deep inside I wanted to find a job near my location. I spent sometimes up to 8 hours a day to update my CV, enhance it, send messages, answer, search for ads, browsing professional networks (a very draining task), reading the professional press, etc. I also started to go out, drove my car, met new people; everything was then so colourful, awesome. At some point, I came back home quite late. I was going out almost everyday or every night. It then became too much but it was like a bad habit I could not do without. What pushed me to slow down was a job. Not a great one but at least, that was a job. Yes, I did complain about the money I was spending for my car (gasoline had never been so expensive), the fact that I was earning little money and the core of the job was no exciting in the least. Once that contract over, I could breathe and be satisfied with having done it through. Now, my worklife is starting to be very draining, exciting, intensive but very stressfull at the same time. I could weigh the pros and cons (cons entail the lack of education for the job I am doing) but it seems that the Wheel of Fortune is turning for me, that life is smiling back at me (well, looking back, I think that earlier in my life I was not smiling lady and such attitude got me nothing in return, which made my « fall into my own hell » easier). Even if there are some days when I am feeling down or like a nobody or unskilled in what I am doing, I pray as often or as much as I can. Spirituality got back proudly into my life last year and its imprint is getting deeper. I like it. I have always felt that having a spiritual life of mine is a well of youth, a well of bliss and well-being (no pun intended).
As I am enjoying more and more my own life, friends are coming along to enlarge my spectrum of colours. This black film is starting to be spotted with many different shades of colours. I am becoming me more and more. I am growing like a woman, feeling that I am on the way to settle down. Though it is just an encouraging start, it is a great start. I may have started late in life, but what the heck? Is that so important? I don’t think so. Why? Why should I always fit in this society I have never shared the same view with? What does matter to me is to act as I feel, according to my views, my principles. Sometimes, Idon’t give a f*ck what the society urges me to do or to be or anything else. I am who I am, take it or leave it.
There is one regret I could mention: having very little time for myself, especially for the study of fields which can get me stuck into a book on a particular subject of interest.
Now it’s about time for me to get back to some field of study I would like to sink into now.
Thanks for reading/following me 🙂